we have officially lost it.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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