I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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