Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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