he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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