in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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