So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
