but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
