Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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