He asked to "fluff my boner.."
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
