What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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