He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
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