Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
