Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
