if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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