it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
