Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
