I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
