fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
