apparently the secret to your success is patron
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
