He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
