i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
