it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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