operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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