Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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