you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
