love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
