is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
