Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
