Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
