PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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