All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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