I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
even my farts smell like vagina
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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