so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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