New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
