I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
