Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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