just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
