The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
