Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
No more Irish car bombs ever.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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