Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
