I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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