You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
