This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
