just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
