Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
