What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
