I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
