When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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