She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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