Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
