sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
