the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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