I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
