Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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