do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize