I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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