a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Randomize
