if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
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