i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Dick very happy bro
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
