i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize