When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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